OK, so at my last entry, I was all excited about the potential for Emily and Sarah to enroll in this new performing arts charter school. Although the lottery drawing for it isn't even until this weekend (which means I don't know if we'll even picked out of the five hundred others also entered in it), I'm starting to have inner turmoil about the whole thing if we were chosen.
I went to the meeting about it last Saturday. Although I think the overall program is probably good, I still don't know that it will be a good fit for our educational philosophy and goals. Will my girls still be able to have choices in their education? Will their (the school's) curriculum and programs foster a love of learning, or will my girls feel stifled because what they will have to do is what someone else's idea of what education is supposed to be about? They've always had so many choices and freedom in our home school; they have learned and continue to learn in a way that fits THEM. They have ample social opportunities both in and out of the homeschool world. My girls also have performing arts in their lives as it is...dance lessons, piano lessons (not Sarah yet!), and they will all be in a play this Spring.
I'm really having to re-think this school thing now. I've been praying too, and hopefully we'll have some clear cut answers. Next weekend, I am going to be at the annual TJEd Family form (Jason and Maegan will be too)....hopefully that will be a weekend full of ideas and inspiration. I sure need it!!!
****UPDATE**** March 2, 2009
I got the official emails from the Charter school. Both girls were accepted for their enrollment. I pretty much expected that to happen. At least now I know what our options are and have time to decide.
****UPDATE**** March 12, 2009
I ended up "accepting" the offer for enrollment at the Charter school since the deadline for that is this week. Emily does NOT want to go to school, and Sarah doesn't care either way. We've had a little "change" in our family status as of last week....those with imagination can guess what that is :-) .....and I just don't know how I'll be or feel come time to start school or three months later when its time to deliver and have another little person to care for while trying to do school with the others. I know it can be done though! We haven't made this announcement official to the younger persons on our home and I can't say more at this time.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Thursday, February 19, 2009
I can't believe I'm considering sending my girls to a charter school!!
This may be an answer to the prayers of my heart recently. An opportunity has come up to possibly send my two youngest girls to a new performing arts charter school.
I can't believe I actually applied to the school online, but I did. Part of me is still reeling inside and it feels so weird to even consider it. These are my girls who have never ever been to school at all. Last week I found out about a new (K-6) performing arts charter school that is supposed to be opening up this coming school year in my area. A few homeschool parents that I know are also considering it for their children. That got the wheels in my mind turning. Should I consider it, too? What would it be like to have my children in school? I can't even fathom it at this point.
This is a consideration mainly for Emily (almost 10), but I may also consider it for Sarah (almost 6). I went ahead and put both their names on their lottery system for choosing students, so that I will have options before me if they are both picked. I can always opt one or both back out, if we decide its not a right fit for them.
Part of me feels strongly that six is awfully young to be gone from mom and home all day. So, I may just keep her home and send only Emily. I'm trying to imagine what it would be like to just have Emily gone to school, and then having a 14 yr old and 6 yr old home for school. That is quite an age gap, and most of what Maegan does is on her own and for her Commonwealth school classes. So it would be like homeschooling an only child at that point in just mainly working with Sarah during the day. Would she be lonely and bored by that? That is definitely something to consider.
There is a meeting this coming weekend about it and I plan to attend. It says right on their website that their educational plans are individualized to each student's needs, and they work at their own pace. There is also performing arts instruction in dance, music theater, voice, piano and violin (Suzuki method). My understanding after talking with a friend about it, is that they do their academic work in the morning, and the performing arts in the afternoon. That would probably eliminate the time and expense we already have for piano and dance lessons outside the home (although Maegan would continue with her piano teacher she's had for nearly four years).
While I'm a firm believer in homeschool and also the TJEd principles, I also know that I need to look for other opportunities for my girls when they come up. This is literally the first opportunity of its kind in our area. There is one other K-6 charter school, but so much of the feedback I've heard is that its way too academically intense. Something in the performing arts arena would be a better fit, since they apply the academics individually. TJEd principles can be applied to any educational setting (home, public, private schools) so I'm hoping that this school does adhere to these principles to some extent, because it is something I believe in whole heartedly. And of course we can continue that model at home too.
And finally, part of me is just ready for a break. Its been nearly five years since we started on this journey and I think it would be good to have some "me" time for a while (however long that is). While I have been trying to pursue my own education these past several years...I've learned more since homeschooling that I have at any other time of my life...I feel like it would truly be an opportunity to delve into it much more and become who I am meant to be become. The thought of having time to myself every day is so unfamiliar though!!!
I can't believe I actually applied to the school online, but I did. Part of me is still reeling inside and it feels so weird to even consider it. These are my girls who have never ever been to school at all. Last week I found out about a new (K-6) performing arts charter school that is supposed to be opening up this coming school year in my area. A few homeschool parents that I know are also considering it for their children. That got the wheels in my mind turning. Should I consider it, too? What would it be like to have my children in school? I can't even fathom it at this point.
This is a consideration mainly for Emily (almost 10), but I may also consider it for Sarah (almost 6). I went ahead and put both their names on their lottery system for choosing students, so that I will have options before me if they are both picked. I can always opt one or both back out, if we decide its not a right fit for them.
Part of me feels strongly that six is awfully young to be gone from mom and home all day. So, I may just keep her home and send only Emily. I'm trying to imagine what it would be like to just have Emily gone to school, and then having a 14 yr old and 6 yr old home for school. That is quite an age gap, and most of what Maegan does is on her own and for her Commonwealth school classes. So it would be like homeschooling an only child at that point in just mainly working with Sarah during the day. Would she be lonely and bored by that? That is definitely something to consider.
There is a meeting this coming weekend about it and I plan to attend. It says right on their website that their educational plans are individualized to each student's needs, and they work at their own pace. There is also performing arts instruction in dance, music theater, voice, piano and violin (Suzuki method). My understanding after talking with a friend about it, is that they do their academic work in the morning, and the performing arts in the afternoon. That would probably eliminate the time and expense we already have for piano and dance lessons outside the home (although Maegan would continue with her piano teacher she's had for nearly four years).
While I'm a firm believer in homeschool and also the TJEd principles, I also know that I need to look for other opportunities for my girls when they come up. This is literally the first opportunity of its kind in our area. There is one other K-6 charter school, but so much of the feedback I've heard is that its way too academically intense. Something in the performing arts arena would be a better fit, since they apply the academics individually. TJEd principles can be applied to any educational setting (home, public, private schools) so I'm hoping that this school does adhere to these principles to some extent, because it is something I believe in whole heartedly. And of course we can continue that model at home too.
And finally, part of me is just ready for a break. Its been nearly five years since we started on this journey and I think it would be good to have some "me" time for a while (however long that is). While I have been trying to pursue my own education these past several years...I've learned more since homeschooling that I have at any other time of my life...I feel like it would truly be an opportunity to delve into it much more and become who I am meant to be become. The thought of having time to myself every day is so unfamiliar though!!!
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
August 11, 2008-February 11, 2009....6 months that have changed my life!!
It is now nearly midnight, soon to be February 11th. Thinking back to six months ago, I never could have possibly imagined that August 11, 2008, would be the last day I'd see my mother alive. I still remember so much of that day, as well as the day she died on August 12th.
August 11th was a good day, according to my memory. The girls and I had just re-started our school year. Things were off to a great start! Maegan was invited over to a friend's house that afternoon, so Emily, Sarah and I went to Target. Emily had birthday money from her aunt that she wanted to spend. So, we dropped Maegan off and proceeded to the store. Emily wanted to go show Grandma Connie and Papa her new prizes from the store (a movie and a yo-yo), so we went there next. I remember my mom being dressed in some of her favorite pajama's. She'd been to work earlier that day, but always came home for an afternoon nap. Her energy levels were still low after all she'd been through.
The girls had a good visit with Grandma Connie and Papa, and so did I. We were only there for about a half hour. How I wish we'd stayed longer! Mom was mashing potatoes for their dinner that night, which was homemade chicken noodle soup. We always had it "the Swiss way", with mashed potatoes under the soup. Its a family tradition. In fact, its what I made for dinner tonight! I remember hugging mom as we left that day, telling her "I Love You!" I remember telling her how tiny she felt to hug since she'd lost so much weight, there wasn't much to her!
How thankful I am that my final words to my mom were words of love. I know that she never doubted my love for her, but it makes me feel good to know my last expression she ever heard was of love.
Six whole months have passed since I told her of my love for her and gave her that hug. Life has changed so much since then and it pains me that she's no longer with us on this Earth. How I wish she were back again! Sometimes it doesn't even feel real that she's gone, even though I know she is. I keep thinking that I need to tell her things on the phone, but I can't. When I went to pick up my Dad yesterday (he went to the girls' dance class), I almost expected to see mom come out of the house behind him. But of course she didn't.
I keep having flashbacks to the day she died and what I saw when I walked into her bedroom on August 12th. The blank stare in her eyes, the shallow breathing that soon stopped, doing CPR trying to save her, screaming at her to not leave us, panic at calling my husband and my sisters that "I think mom just died", the ER, the ICU and finally saying goodbye. It all seems like such a blur, but also so vivid. That probably doesn't even make any sense.
I know that the next six months will likely bring more changes. Time is supposed to ease the pain of losing a loved one, and I think in some ways it has. I don't find myself crying as much lately (except for right now!), but I do still think of Mom often, wondering what its like for her and what she's thinking as she watches all of us from Heaven. I wonder what she thinks about Dad starting to date again and talk of marriage to another person. I know she wouldn't want him to be alone, nor do we. Its all just so strange and I'm trying to contemplate what our lives will be like once Dad does get married again. I guess only time will tell.
August 11th was a good day, according to my memory. The girls and I had just re-started our school year. Things were off to a great start! Maegan was invited over to a friend's house that afternoon, so Emily, Sarah and I went to Target. Emily had birthday money from her aunt that she wanted to spend. So, we dropped Maegan off and proceeded to the store. Emily wanted to go show Grandma Connie and Papa her new prizes from the store (a movie and a yo-yo), so we went there next. I remember my mom being dressed in some of her favorite pajama's. She'd been to work earlier that day, but always came home for an afternoon nap. Her energy levels were still low after all she'd been through.
The girls had a good visit with Grandma Connie and Papa, and so did I. We were only there for about a half hour. How I wish we'd stayed longer! Mom was mashing potatoes for their dinner that night, which was homemade chicken noodle soup. We always had it "the Swiss way", with mashed potatoes under the soup. Its a family tradition. In fact, its what I made for dinner tonight! I remember hugging mom as we left that day, telling her "I Love You!" I remember telling her how tiny she felt to hug since she'd lost so much weight, there wasn't much to her!
How thankful I am that my final words to my mom were words of love. I know that she never doubted my love for her, but it makes me feel good to know my last expression she ever heard was of love.
Six whole months have passed since I told her of my love for her and gave her that hug. Life has changed so much since then and it pains me that she's no longer with us on this Earth. How I wish she were back again! Sometimes it doesn't even feel real that she's gone, even though I know she is. I keep thinking that I need to tell her things on the phone, but I can't. When I went to pick up my Dad yesterday (he went to the girls' dance class), I almost expected to see mom come out of the house behind him. But of course she didn't.
I keep having flashbacks to the day she died and what I saw when I walked into her bedroom on August 12th. The blank stare in her eyes, the shallow breathing that soon stopped, doing CPR trying to save her, screaming at her to not leave us, panic at calling my husband and my sisters that "I think mom just died", the ER, the ICU and finally saying goodbye. It all seems like such a blur, but also so vivid. That probably doesn't even make any sense.
I know that the next six months will likely bring more changes. Time is supposed to ease the pain of losing a loved one, and I think in some ways it has. I don't find myself crying as much lately (except for right now!), but I do still think of Mom often, wondering what its like for her and what she's thinking as she watches all of us from Heaven. I wonder what she thinks about Dad starting to date again and talk of marriage to another person. I know she wouldn't want him to be alone, nor do we. Its all just so strange and I'm trying to contemplate what our lives will be like once Dad does get married again. I guess only time will tell.
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